Gracie

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Gracie is part of the community of homeless people that camp along the sidewalk and freeway ramps at the 405 and Nordhoff in North Hills. She belongs to a close-knit group of women who share a love of reading and help each other survive the elements and a bureaucracy that keeps them in a constant state of insecurity and limbo. We spoke in the photojournalism lab at California State University, Northridge.

Ok, my name is Grace Crilly. I’m 65 as we speak, I’ll be 66 in December. I grew up here in San Fernando Valley and I’ve seen it grow and change from what it was in ’61. I’ve been through two earthquakes and that’s quite a scary thing, but we did survive, with minimum loss. I went to high school here. I got to two years of college, almost, but I never completed and got an AA or anything (coughs). Excuse me. I, let’s see… I worked, put into the system, and in my too too poor life choices… wrong man…wrong… just bad situations that I got myself into. Wound up, found myself living on the streets, instead of an apartment, a home, or even worst case scenario, even the motels. They all got too expensive. That would be like in 2000. Around late 90’s and 2000.

Unfortunately due to my poor life choices, I’ve been to prison three times, behind drug addiction and I can say thankfully, thank God now that that’s not an issue. But some wise man also made Proposition, or Senate Bill 47 which reduces felony to a misdemeanor on these drug charges and that’s helped a lot of people be able to gain employment now, because of that. ‘Cause not having a felony on your record which is, I don’t care what anyone says, even though they can’t ask you certain questions, they still find out and it’s still… you know, lessens your chances of successfully finding employment.  

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It’s like virtually impossible if you are a single person to find even temporary transitional housing, especially here in San Fernando Valley. They’re just isn’t available. Now if you’re a single mom, your chances are better. You have a much better chance of getting into transitional temporary and also for getting onto Section 8 lists and things like that. Now if you have mental issues, you stand a better chance, but I mean I do have some. I go through depression, I think I’m Bipolar, but I haven’t been officially, quote unquote, diagnosed as such. I know I do go through the depression. I can cry at the drop of a hat, as per now. Um it’s uh, it just gets very very frustrating. I have COPD, which is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, there’s no cure.  They can like keep it in remission or it progresses and last stop would be emphysema and we all know that’s not a fun place to be. But so far so good, knock on wood. I’m like maintaining it, as long as I keep taking my meds etcetera, you know we’re doing ok. I am doing ok, considering.

Situations have come up, I lost my very best friend. He died, he got hit by a train … we had a dog together, and due to peoples’ busybody ways, the dog got taken away from me, and that was my very best friend. It was a beautiful dog, loved everybody and everybody loved him. There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t miss him. You know, it’s just one of those things and then some other stupid fool. Um, there was a dog that was like, got adopted through the gang, we’re talking Langdon boys, and you know despite what everybody says about these gangbangers, they’re not that bad. They really aren’t. I mean yes, there are some, there are and they do what they have to do or what they think they have to do, but that’s them. And many of time ‘Moms are you hungry? Go to Jack in the Box. Here, here’s a card. Go to Jack in the Box.’ And you know the kids are very respectful to us. Of course, we give them the same respect in return, you know. You give what you get.

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Ok, well within ourselves, we can kind of police ourselves and keep ourselves in check. So, it doesn’t have to go to the next level, which of course would be law enforcement. There are some that have sticky fingers, shall we say… we try to, you know, put that in check and so far we have not had to go to the next level. Now, our dealings with law enforcement, for the most part, had been… well I can only speak for Nordhoff, ‘cause we are such a small group. There’s only like maybe, a dozen of us. We don’t encourage newcomers, what we do have we’ll keep, but if opportunity presents itself for someone to leave, we’re all for it. You know, bon voyage, etcetera. Um, we have more things in common with each other, and yet we come from diverse backgrounds. We’ve got Catholics, we have Jewish, we have…just people, you know, and it’s like some are rich. Some came from a rich background, their parents were wealthy, this and that. Some from a medium, you know. Uh, and then others came from a poor background. Or educational wise, you know, it runs college education to barely made it out of high school type of thing, and yet we do all get along basically.

To minimize like the danger, we close ranks, so to speak. You know, circle up the wagons and so far there has not been any tragedies of that nature. At least as far as the Nordhoff group goes. Now, I’ve heard there has been some tragedy down at Roscoe. It’s a shame because it was unnecessary. It shouldn’t have happened. A girl got killed. She got beaten to death. Yeah, a homeless girl. It was emotional, because I guess, from my understanding, the person, or persons that did it were jealous of her and a relationship with somebody else…and it just, it makes no sense.

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Well there’s been an issue in the last week or so … the freeway off ramps and on ramps, on the sides there are State property and when Caltrans comes to clean up we move from there, and move under the bridge to city property. City and State don’t mix. You know…but they are joining forces. And now what the story is, that I hear, of course it hasn’t been verified, but what I hear is that when the State kicks us out the City is going to be there, Department of Sanitation, to pick up our stuff and throw it in the trash, and that way… I don’t know what they think they’re going to accomplish other than having a bunch of people that are cold. They are not giving us an alternative. They’re not telling us where to go. I mean, they’re just abandoning us, so to speak. Now granted we really aren’t their responsibility, but yes we are. Um, unfortunately by whatever acts have happened, or reasons, or situations, we kinda are their responsibility. And if you’re going to be, be part of the solution not part of the problem.

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We have a councilman that lives up the street and I’ll just leave it as, ‘in the neighborhood, up the street’ and he is so gung-ho on getting rid of us and getting us out of there, but I don’t see him showing any alternatives. Just that he wants it cleaned up. Ok, yes it needs to be cleaned up. I can full heartedly agree with him. I know if I was a homeowner I would probably have the same sentiments, ‘cause you know property values, etcetera, etcetera. But just because your kid stepped on a piece of glass, that was determined to have come from a liquor bottle, I’m sorry, but we’re not the only people that drink. I heard that one of your other children, or one of his friends got stuck by a needle. Well we’re not the only ones that use needles. Diabetics use needles. Have you ever considered that? It’s so easy to put the blame on one group, but without considering the alternatives. And I think we’re being unfairly accused of a lot of stuff that we don’t do.

I’d say 80% are very kind, they bring us food, you know, care packages things like that. It’s the other 20% that I’ve had some insults yelled at me that were…  I wouldn’t even repeat. If they’re coming down the freeway ramp, you know the usual ‘get a job,’ you know I could understand, but I’m 65. Come on.

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But what’s available is, well we can get GR, general relief. We can get SSI, if you have a medical condition, or a mental condition that prohibits you from like maintaining a job or you know, holding a job down. Medi-Cal, which you know helps because a lot of us are getting sick and it’s due to, I think, this is personal opinion, that it’s due to… there’s so much filth in the air and on the ground and it’s a sooty kind of thing that just sticks to everything and it gets inside of you. And I also remember a couple years ago Linda’s doctor did a culture on the soil from the side of the freeway and they found over 13 different bacterias and we’re exposed to all of this… unfortunately.

Just regard your preconceived notions, because all of you are really one paycheck away from being where we are. It can happen to anybody. You get downsized. A foreign nation buys your company and says, you know, they’re bringing their own people in and then what recourse do you have? You don’t.

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